Basically...I do not have a guaranteed job anymore. I found out this past Sunday from another boarder (and good source) that the new BO only wanted to keep me if enough boarders stayed. He definitely wanted to keep my coworker (and I can see why, the guy can handle repairs, groundswork, etc), but if too many boarders left, he wouldn't be able to afford both of us. Insert panic, remove complacency. And here's me, relatively upset, because this barn is my home, and all my friends and family are there. Friends and family who I reassured that everything would be fine and nothing would change, because coworker and I would still be around to maintain the quality care of their horses. But we'll get to that later.
Well, come to find out, new BO does not want to keep any of the teenage girls who are taking lessons; he doesn't want to deal with any of that, so he has decided to only keep the adults who ride on their own...which is all of seven people. Out of twenty-four horses. And that's if those adults decide to stay amidst all of the upheaval.
You see where this is going.
BO did tell me he asked her to ask me to work on Sundays, and in return, I could keep my horses there. Would you do it? I just can't see doing it... I mean, I barely know the guy, and after all of the changing back and forth and not being reliable in his word, I have begun to harbor a teensy dislike for the guy, a definite distrust, and a bit of resentment. I'm trying not to be childish and petty, I really am. But it really bothers me that he looked me in the eye and assured me he definitely wanted to keep me, because he was planning on keeping all of the boarders and wanted nothing to change, and needed all the help he could get. Based on that, when the boarders came up to me and asked me what I thought of the guy, and what I thought was going to happen, I reassured them like an idiot that he was a very nice guy (that may still be true, but personally I don't see it anymore), he wasn't going to kick anyone out (wrong), he wanted to keep everything the same (wrong again), and coworker and I would be around to take care of things (half wrong). I mean, how ironic can you get? In my complacency, I caused more complacency. So now that the shit has hit the fan, everyone pretty much has to scramble. I wish I hadn't been quite so reassuring, but I thought I knew what was happening. So did current BO, and that really, really upsets me. She handed this guy a made business, with a long-standing clientele, and he smashed it in the dirt. She thought she had everyone taken care of. She did her damnedest to see that everyone was taken care of, but once he changed his mind, well, that was that. I could go on for hours and hours, but in the interest of keeping my mouth shut and being an adult, I'll just say that I guess...it is what it is.
In the meantime, although BO told me she thinks the deal he offered me is a good one, I'm about 99% certain I would much prefer to tell him good luck with that one...I've got a home for Ben and Too, and the people who own the place are friends and have recommended, since everything seems to be a mess, that I get my horses out sooner rather than later...like, tomorrow. I told them that I should probably leave Benny so he can finish out the last week or two of this lesson semester, but wait! Benny has an abcess and is pretty darn lame and will probably be out of commission for another week or so...so, what's the point in leaving him? Although, it may rain the next couple of days, so in the interest of keeping his foot dry and clean, I may put it off a bit.
Now, I just have to find a job...this is the scary part. I've been at this barn for so long that the thought of getting used to working somewhere else is such a foreign idea that I can barely fathom it. I suppose I should look at it as an opportunity to grow up and have a real boss, since BO and husband have always felt more like parents than my bosses.
Needless to say, I have been an emotional wreck this week. Everything changed on Sunday. On Tuesday, Too beat the crap out of herself in her stall during a storm, and came out of it with a swollen throat:
And a swollen noggin:
Which was also the day that Benny came in with his abcess. He wasn't terribly lame, and it really seemed like he'd just tweaked his ankle, but the next day when he came in dead lame, I started soaking him for an abcess (during which he put me into absolute emotional distress by shaking like he was going into shock), and the vet came out the next day and verified, pared out his toe a bit, etc. I pretty much spent thirty minutes on Wednesday standing in the middle of the barn while soaking him, bawling my eyes out because I was worried about Too, damn upset because it hit me that BO and husband are leaving, and it literally killed me to see Benny in the kind of pain he was in. It was like the worst kind of emotional onset you can imagine. I couldn't function. I am sort of functioning now; I'm tentatively calling and driving around to see what sort of horse operations may be hiring...I can't see doing anything else. The important part is that my ponies will be safe and taken care of. And I would really like to have written this post a bit better, but I'm afraid that by exploring my emotions a bit more and writing less distantly, that I'll throw myself back into emotional distress, and ya know what? I'm headed out to the barn to enjoy my ponies.
No comments:
Post a Comment